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slacking author has her blog tagged by bored husband

  • Monday, November 24, 2008
  • Jeff
  • Yeah, so Kari had great expectations for this thing, but she's having a hard enough time rolling out of bed at 5:45 AM to run... meanwhile, I (the sidekick) am sitting up at work going crazy with nothing to do, but surf the net and dream of working.

    I know she has a list of things to blog about over the past few weeks, so I'll just wing it:



    1) Hannah made her stage debut a couple of weeks ago. For those of you who don't know, Hannah's aspiration in life right now is to be a popstar. I don't know where this idea started, but I'm blaming Miley Cyrus and the whole Disney media. Anyways, apparently each grade does a little muscial skit (on a rotating monthly basis) for the Parent-Teacher meetings. So, Hannah decides to audition for one of the lead parts. And granted, we as parents are pretty biased, but she lands one of duet parts! So, little did I know it was scheduled for Veteran's Day. But, they had this huge American propaganda-themed little musical complete with some rapping about America and Hannah's country-twanged "Living in the heart-in the heart of America". Hannah has always had this terrible stage-fright (I know... it's gonna be a tough road to popstardom)--and she looked a little shaky at first--but, she did pretty well. So, who knows what her next hit will be?



    2) Jacob is gunning to be #1 at school. So, I come home from work one day and little Jake's got some news--he's the Bowie elementary "Star Student of the Month". Apparently, only two 1st graders all year get this honor. He had his picture taken for the paper. And, they gave us a sign to stick in our front yard for the next month. Hannah's best friend across the street was also "Star Student" for her grade. So, we have dueling "Star Student" placards in our yards. Jake's gonna be scary bright too--the kid has never had less than 100% on anything--ever! Can you imagine? We're talking homework, spelling tests, math problems. The kids infallible. He's probably batting a thousand on his score card in heaven, too! Now, if only some of his perfection would spill into his sports game...

    3) Last week our garage got pillaged. I was messing around in the garage and had left my car in the driveway. I was going inside to get my keys to pull it in and Kari distracted me with something (it's always smoke and mirrors with her). So, that was the first slip up. Then Kari, actually let her OCD nightly ritual of checking every door in the house lapse (which is pretty fun to mess with... there's nothing better than waiting until she's crawled into bed and about to doze off and saying, "Did you check the back door? I don't remember you checking it?" She'll be like "Of course, I did..." and then you can just count it down 5-4-3-2... "Dang it, Jeff... why did you have to say anything" as she goes marching off to check all the doors again) and didn't check the garage door. So, it got left up all night. Which really hasn't been a big deal. In the 7 years of living in Lubbock and Waco we've had one kids scooter snagged (and it was sitting out in the middle of the driveway for half a day). But, then as the day progressed Kari started noting stuff that was missing out of her car. First, it was her purse (which kinda made me smile because I've been saying for years "Why do you leave your purse in the car?"), but then she started in on the list... my whole CD case (all 100+ grunge CDs that get pulled out every once in awhile when I like to reminesce). But, at least I still had our... awh, nuts--the iPod too? My sunglasses (I had a pair in each car because I'm too lazy to move them back and forth).

    The kicker is the teenagers (how, did I know it was teenagers? Who else would steal sunglasses, iPod, and CDs) went on a shopping spree in Fort Worth. They were spending $500 a pop at these mini-marts. So, I started calling them. I was talking to one manager and I was like, "Did someone just buy $500 of stuff at your store?" "Yeah." "Who was it?" "Some teenagers." (that's really how I know) "And you let them buy $500 of stuff on a debit card?" "They said it was their dad's" "So, out of curiousity, what'd they buy?" "Clothes and food" So, in case you're looking for another store besides WalMart to blow $500 on quality clothes and food--apparently, Mike at some Deli Mart in Ft. Worth is your man. He'll hook you up no questions asked!

    4) I think that's it for now... Kari and I have a bet going. I'm doing this terrible meal plan that is no-salt, no-sugar, (no-flavor) and it's kicking my tail. Kari's trying to lose weight to go shopping with Christy at Christmas. So, I bet her I could stick with this plan longer than she could continue to lose weight. Luckily, she reminded me of the bet last week during a moment of weakness when I was craving a sugar-fix (I had forgotten the bet and thought I was just going through some phase again). Now I'm dedicated just to do it (read: stubborn husband). Who cares about whatever health benefit it's supposed to have--I need to kick the Smith ice cream addiction and I'll stick it to her while I'm at it! So, if either one of us is grumpy over the next two months it's because she's losing sleep to exercise and I'm eating cardboard. Happy Holidays for us!

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